i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
