very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
