the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
