Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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