Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
