CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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