so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i barfeds in our rink
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
