Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
