Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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