hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
