Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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