Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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