Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You are a genius and a whore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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