I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize