he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
