I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
