Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
birth control should be required to get into college
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize