"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
