All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
