i just wanna soil my oats bro
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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