You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
