FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize