I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
