I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i barfeds in our rink
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
