I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize