i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize