apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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