Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
