We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
