party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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