Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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