Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
ok first of all what the fuck
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
