It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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