Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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