found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
