I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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