I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
