i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
