sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I faked an abortion last night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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