Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
this just has baby written all over it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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