so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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