Someone shit on the floor
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
