So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
