i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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