I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
