Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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