Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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