She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
