he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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