So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
