I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
