I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
