Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize