hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
