I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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