New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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