Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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