i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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