People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
