Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
