I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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