There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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