well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
