she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
