see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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